Tuesday, June 28, 2005 :::

I'm in a dangerous frame of mind. Maybe the right frame of mind...

Since the start of college, I've kept a private blog. One where I write whatever the hell I want. I suppose it's more like what this one should have been like: "Purity of Expression." I'm contemplating merging the two worlds. Becoming completely, dangerously honest with everyone. I feel like there's something to gain from that...but it's a pretty scary position to assume.

I don't know that it's healthy to keep a blatantly honest outlet in coexistence with a more filtered, censored blog. True, certain thoughts are nobody's business but my own, but can I have full, satisfying friendships without being totally open with everyone? I feel like all kinds of drama might ensue if I reveal everything, and Lord knows I hate drama.

Okay, I've thought it through, and I'm not going to merge the two blogs. As hard as I would fight it, there would always be the consequence of knowing that other people will read what I write, and a certain impurity would surely taint the posts. At least, that's how it would be at this stage of my life.

The other possibility is to pick and choose from certain posts that I've already written in my private blog and post them in this one from time to time, to try to balance things out. Remind myself that I should stay as close to honesty as possible when writing. Last semester, I wrote a five-page poem for a class. It was pretty solid, but my professor remarked, accurately, that it lacked the benefits that mark a work when it is written from a place of honesty and actual personal experience. I think that same sort of lack has plagued this blog. Writing about music and movies is cool...but as I wrote in my very first post on this blog, I need to "post my blood" here. So I'm going to make a verifiable effort to do that. I will try to convince myself that what I write is being written for myself, and myself only...and if others can't handle it or don't want to, that's totally cool.

In keeping with this spirit, I will post an older, more honest "vile" in the near future. The contrast in style and vividness of thought should be pretty clear. It is to me, anyway.

*Deep Breath*

::: posted by AJBrotz at 10:10 PM

(0) comments

Thursday, June 16, 2005 :::

DOUBLE-DEUCE REPRESENT!

::: posted by AJBrotz at 10:07 AM

(0) comments

Monday, June 13, 2005 :::

Not merely a Smooth Criminal...

THE KING OF POP IS NOT GUILTY! MJ ACQUITTAL 2005 WOOHOO!

Congrats, Mike - but I still wouldn't let my kids stay with you. You're too damn weird.

::: posted by AJBrotz at 4:45 PM

(0) comments