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Poetry. Stream of Consciousness. Spontaneity. Angst. Humor. Bliss. Regret. Comtemplation. Comfort. Fear. Hope. Love.
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Sunday, September 09, 2001 :::
Still gettin' the hang of this blog thing...thanx to Shyla :)
So, the Latalianos went out tonight, dug us our first party. Not bad, but...nothing to talk of, save for my discussion with Becky-an old acquaintance i acquired through RC. Very interesting...very interesting indeed...apparently, WSHS is goin' down the tubes, and RC is friends-maybe more than friends-with Snyder? what the hell is that? what is she thinking? he's...Snyder! we all know his past, so...??? ugh. whatever. i'm so close to not caring about the mistakes and probable errors of my friends. it never makes a difference when i attempt to interfere, so all i'm doing is striking down my happiness...and that should be priority number one, cuz if i'm not happy, then nothing else really matters all that much. and i don't see that as being selfish. everything is shit if i'm not happy, and i can't share happiness with anyone else if i don't contain it myself. so...in conclusion, i AM going to talk with RC and get the info straight from the source...but if it winds up being another stupid high-school story of naivity and so on, i'm disconnecting.
Roberson is the man! Maybe he's a bit rusty in the ways of the morangue (sp?), but still...ya gotta have some decent-sized balls to get out there and dance with someone you've never spoken to before. props to latino.
As for the liquor, Skeeter won for quantity, i didn't even finish a wine cooler, and Dumb had maybe 2 sips; one from a Smirnoff (sp?) and one from some rum and coke. i stuck to that which i know, and didn't even get a buzz...which was fine with me. i don't plan on taking it any further than i did tonight.
I'm wondering if i should include the names of others in my posts on this thing. it doesn't seem quite right, since practically anyone can view it...but i don't think it's that big a deal. i'm not striking anyone down, or telling anyone's life-stories. if this is gonna be any type of journal at all, i have to express in one way or another how i'm feeling, when i'm feeling it, so...anyway.
no one EVER bother with the movie Waiting for Guffman. WASTE OF TIME.
sometimes
sky aligns with sense, painting interactive masterpiece.
authenticity is key.
authenticity is the essence of anything worth anything.
arrive at this moment, feeling feelings, breathing breaths.
nothing matters if life is limited, so dissolve boundaries.
smile, for God's Sake.
look at each other, and don't look away, embarrassed.
COMMUNICATE, and consume that which you prescribe.
practice what you preach.
don't love until you have no choice, for that is true. anything else is pointless and detrimental.
need the ones you love, and love the ones you need.
allow for inspiration; keep your doors open and your windows clear.
MEMORIES ARE ALL THAT MATTER; change, dare, attempt, fail, recover, achieve, share, repeat.
new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new new
lookin forward to venting at the next Absent show...i wonder if it'd be possible to go too far on stage. I'd like to. I'd like to know that I went over the line, to have emotion defeat physical limitations. beautiful. moreso to share afterwards...but with who? no one, DAMMIT.
and that's the bitch that never leaves my side.
patience.
GREEN: System of a Down is wonderul; so passionate and intelligent...and wacky :) good times, good times. They're really helping me to just let go and relax. and vent, but happily. Alicia Keys rocks it hardcore...just don't get an ego, girl. keep it pure-if that's even possible in that biz. $3.49 for good pizza is WONDERFUL.
BLUE: i miss water...i miss the connection i treasure with it. home feels distant now...not quite as familiar...and i'm feelin' the same kinda way towards my parents, which has positive and negative fx. Insults-REAL insults from people that you care about-KILL. Fuck them. -the insults, that is.
RED: RC. Snyder. Television.
YELLOW: I miss Great Grandpa, which is interesting...and i HATE the fact that i was so ignorant and naive as a kid. so much opportunity missed...dammit. Tusapatsa.
Alright, i'm through for now. 'Twas enjoyable, my first REAL entry...but i'm still kinda nervous about the whole idea. perhaps this will be my final post?
-consistent?
::: posted by AJBrotz at 3:27 AM

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