Wednesday, January 02, 2002 :::

Warning. The content of the entries that follow this disclaimer is going to be much more raw than previous content. The level of honest output is going to be intensified. Drastically. If you are worried about being offended in any way by pure, unrehearsed thought and emotion, then I seriously recommend thinking twice about visiting. Hopefully, this thing will become something meaningful again.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

- What would happen (mentally/emotionally) to a man if all of the testosterone and estrogin was taken out of his system? -

"No sleep in 2002." -John Raudebaugh

I'm going to try with all of my strength and ability to make this year the motherfucking best year that i've ever had. Pretense just HAS to go out the window...and the person that i truly am needs to be concretely established and maintained. (Physical/mental) health has to improve...and once that is well underway, i'm totally confident that my other goals will be reached with more ease.

OFFICIAL NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS
-ABOLISH AWKWARD SILENT MOMENTS OF NOTHINGNESS IN MY LIFE
-Improve health
-Conquer pretense
-Experience as much as possible
-TAKE ACTION; achieve balance between action and theory
-Learn how to play my violin
-Pay off the debt i owe to my 'rents

that's a pretty fuckin' hefty load. here goes nothing (and everything)...
_________________________________________________________

I'd love a new stereo system for my car (after experiencing my brother's), and a new amp for my guitar (Line 6 Flexitone 2). Hence, i'm getting a job when i get back to Gainesville. This will aid in my eradication of moments of nothingness in my life. Boredom is the worst sensation a person can experience, and it is absolutely unacceptable. There is ALWAYS a constructive way to spend one's time.

Fragments
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"what's that you're saying? the circus clowns have all left town and things are like we always dreamed? let's consumate, initiate our own ideal society. Pray that we dismiss the seed that birthed itself in you and me."
_______________________________________________________________
"I've left it, now; it's all behind me. Let the memories escape me. No pretense and no regrets-it's time to see the sight that blinds me."
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It has been QUITE some time since i masturbated. My main reasoning is that i really don't enjoy the frame of mind that i enter when the activity commences. masturbation has always been something that i resort to when i'm bored...or when i'm wanting an escape...and i can think of many other more satisfying practices that i could engage in without sacrificing my preferred state of mind. i've come to the conclusion that that sort of thing is truly and simply meant to be experienced when love accompanies it - is provided by a lover. so no more lessening the sensation's potential significance - unless i get seriously arroused and just have to get off. and that has hardly ever been the case.

note to self: do not engage in activities that you might regret when under the influence...or when involved with someone else who is under the influence.

love is not something that should ever be fucked with.

::: posted by AJBrotz at 1:01 AM

Comments: Post a Comment