Friday, February 15, 2002 :::

where is the intelligent happy music? i reached the conclusion that that's what i want to do...but...where is it? i don't want punk...i don't want "indie-rock" - my ideal band right now would be a more positive Finger Eleven with more electronic stuff goin' on...maybe a hybrid of Kenna, Jimmy Eat World, and Finger Eleven. that'd be very, very nice. maybe this is simply what i need to shoot for.

picked up Travis: "The Man Who" today (only 9.99)...i nearly fell asleep to it...nice stuff...but it's definitely music that has to accompany the appropriate mood. finally ordered "Thriller" from Jonah's New End Original, which is likely to be both happy and intelligent (rock)...and ordered "August Everywhere" from Blinker the Star for a surprisingly low price...like, 6 something. happy music on the way...

and i think i've realized what this feeling of lostness is. i'm leaving my comfort zone, by myself, in hopes of finding a more fulfilling lifestyle and more honest/positive expressive musical/lyrical outlet. I mean, i've been taking everything way too seriously for my entire life...and there has always been at least a tinge of depression in just about every day i've been alive...and i'm sick of it...but it's not the easiest thing to change the way you live your life overnight. any suggestions for sources of inspiration and comfort would be absolutely beautiful.

i've decided to pick up reading again; i've got Vonnegut, Palahniuk, Tolkien, and others to read...but i don't know that these authors will necessarily aid the new direction i'm wanting to walk in. again...suggestions would be glorious.

heard an interesting idea today. if you're ever feeling down or out of it, take a bath with vegetables. i'm literally laughing out loud just thinking about it...i really think it's a genius idea.

"I don't ever want to say that my best days are behind me"

::: posted by AJBrotz at 1:22 AM

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