Saturday, June 29, 2002 :::

Incubus rocked my socks off. Being crushed against the railing was shitty, but it was rad being so close to the band. Phantom Planet was all-out rock and roll...very cool, very energetic. This was definitely the best show i've been to in...i can't remember how long. The Juliana Theory show was an absolute joke in comparison.

so, most everyone knows about my all-out honesty with my parents, and the whole end-to-drinking thing...and maybe a few of my "friends" have been somewhat supportive, or even merely understanding - and to those people (drew and melo, primarily), i extend unconditional love and gratitude. but overall, this just sucks. i mean, it's good on one end, because it's easier to see where certain people place their priorities and how much they value their friendships...well, okay, honestly, it all just sucks right now. i just can't understand the mentality that exists when someone decides that they don't want to hang with you because you've decided to stop drinking and start being completely honest - with yourself, and everyone else. actually, maybe i can understand it, but i could never relate to it...and i really think it's pathetic. someone "close" to me even said that he doesn't think he'll be visiting Gainesville anymore, now that it's "dry." all i can say in response is FUCK THAT, and FUCK YOU. that's seriously fucked up, and it hurts. with that known, to tell u the truth, i really don't want you coming to Gainesville ever again, anyway. dammit...what the shit is that? how can getting drunk really be so important and enjoyable to the point where it actually takes precidence over relationships? i want to move away...and not just 2 hours away. i want to move out of the country...i want to sever all connections with everyone that i know...i want to start over, clean slate. i really just want freedom, from being made fun of, from thoughtlessness, from any and all restrictions, other than those that i place on myself. i want to be in complete control...and somehow, i don't think that's possible. and THAT, Alan, is a depressing thought.

my acoustic and i have gotten very close lately. it's wonderful...i absolutely lulululove it.

The Used: high quality cd, great lyrics/emotion. BUY.
Norah Jones - Come Away with Me: relaxing, but...not as good as i was hoping it would be. kinda contrived. LISTEN.
Reel Big Fish - Cheer Up: very high quality music...big talent. gotta be in the mood, though. BUY.
Avril Lavigne - Let Go: not bad at all. lacking intelligence, but...i dunno, i like her. good voice, decent music. LISTEN.
Vanessa Carlton - Be Not Nobody: GREAT band, but Vanessa can get quite annoying. very dramatic music. LISTEN.
Finch - What it is to Burn: energetic, driving heavy music with great hooks. BUY.
New Found Glory - Sticks and Stones: disappointing, but there are a few rockin' songs. HEAR.
Phantom Planet - The Guest: interesting stuff...refreshing. some tracks are very Beatles-esque, which is great, but the others range from decent to blah. LISTEN.

Shits and giggles: Orange County. Evolution.
Worth buying: Vanilla Sky. Grosse Point Blank. Moulin Rouge.
Date flick: Serendipity.

Date restaurant: Peppinos (!!!)

The second island trip is fast approaching. I'm very, very excited, but i'm afraid that i may eventually wind up biting some people's heads off. we'll see, but one thing is for sure: i've been away from the ocean for far too freakin' long. it's bizarre how strongly i'm attracted to water - of any sort, really. i guess it's a natural, animalistic thing...a desire for the beginning, the source of creation. whatever...-i just want to sink to the bottom of a pool or something, and just sit for a while, since it's really difficult for me to lay down with my bouyancy, or however you spell it. water water water. i'm thirsty. H20.

-fish out of water.

::: posted by AJBrotz at 1:59 AM

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