|
|
|
Poetry. Stream of Consciousness. Spontaneity. Angst. Humor. Bliss. Regret. Comtemplation. Comfort. Fear. Hope. Love.
|
|
|
|
Sunday, January 22, 2006 :::
Happy Thanksgiving!
Merry Christmas!
Happy New Year!
Now that we're back up to speed...I'm pretty sure that no one reads this anymore - my generation of bloggers seems to have either given up online journaling or resorted to MySpace or whatever's popular this month. But I'm staying true to my roots.
So...much has changed. Last you heard, I was working on my Masters degree at UF. Well, that's no longer true. I dropped all of my classes and am living back at my parents' place. Why? With each passing day, the idea of becoming a teacher was less and less appealing. My internship would have required a whole lot of work and dedication on my end, and, more than anything else, I would have dreaded it. Waking up ass-early every day, workin' all day, coming home to continue working, preparing lessons to use for the next day, etc. etc. Which is all fine and good - for someone who is truly passionate about teaching. And that thought was what brought me to where I am now. The issue of passion - what I am and am not passionate about. I'd bet good money that anyone reading this has immediate awareness of my first and strongest passion. So, I decided to leave UF behind (for now, at least) and chase the dream down whatever road it decides to take.
I know, I know - I was so close to getting that M.Ed. Why didn't I just stick it out? Honestly, the whole thing was feeling more like a trap than anything else. If I had stayed with it, I'm sure that I would have gotten the degree and landed a decent teaching job somewhere, probably teaching English - video production if I was lucky. And I would have had stability, dependable income, and the comfort of knowing that I finished what I started.
But I would have neglected what I love the most. I would have kept it on the backburner yet again, and it would have stayed there for God knows how long - possibly forever.
I'm dedicating myself to music. It's simply what makes me happiest - what keeps my blood running warm, makes me excited to wake up, and gives me confidence from day to day. The days of Absent, Entity, WiKiD - even Fallout - those were the days when I was really and truly myself. Nothing felt better than writing a song, practicing it, and finally performing it in front of an audience. And when you think about it, there's no better time than now to really try my hand at it. If, for some crazy reason, things don't work out, I've got the rest of my life to find something that will...but I've got to go down the avenue of music while I'm still in my twenties.
Like most people, I want to live a life with as few regrets as possible, and, for me, the biggest regret would be to realize that I never really tried to make something of myself in the music business. I mean, I look at Brock and the guys in Hand to Hand who are making kickass music, playing shows around town, and traveling outside the country to do what they love...and it's killed me to think that I might live a life without tasting that. So I'm going to try, as hard as I can, to make something happen. That's really all that I can do, right? In the end, what's meant to be, will be, but at least I'll be able to say that I gave it my best shot.
Long story short - I'm back in town. Let's hang out.
::: posted by AJBrotz at 1:43 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
