Thursday, February 28, 2002 :::

It's currently 30 degrees out. In Florida. What kind of nonsense is that?

So, who caught the Grammys? I was bored throughout most of it...although John Stewart was entertaining. The best performance, BY FAR, was Mary J. Blige performing her song "No More Drama," which, by the way, uses the theme music from one of those old soap operas...i think it's "The Young and the Restless." Anyway, she was truly awesome. So much energy...such power...such talent. She had "diva" written all over her. I hope that i'll be able to download that performance in the near future...and i recommend that everyone else tries to do the same.

2 more days of school before Spring Break, so that's cool. I'm definitely lookin' forward to jammin' with my brothers in Absent, as we have lots of new material to work on. Hopefully, I'll be unsick by Saturday, and in possession of my voice. I'm sure that I'll be gettin' together with Juan at some point to celebrate his birthday, as well...I don't even know how old that kid is now. 20, i think. that's INSANE.

to everyone that responded to the "personal ad:" it really was an assignment for Human Sexuality. I thought it was kinda cool...so i posted it...and John Woodward responded, telling me that he was my dream girl...so i guess it wasn't all in vain.

SALADFISHMAN should be posting new stuff soon, so look out for that.

can't think of anything significant to say...so...till next time...g'nite.

::: posted by AJBrotz at 12:38 AM

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Sunday, February 24, 2002 :::

M seeking F. 1st year UF student looking for young, attractive female who enjoys writing, playing, and/or listening to music. Appreciation/enjoyment of modern cinema is a definite plus. Ability to engage in deep, meaningful conversation desired, but only if balanced by activation/appreciation of spontaneous outbursts of nonsensical dialogue. Quick, witty sense of humor is a must.

::: posted by AJBrotz at 6:46 PM

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Wednesday, February 20, 2002 :::

New End Original arrived in the mail yesterday - i'm listening to it right now. exceptional music...can't help but be reminded of Far, Jonah's first band...and ironically, i'm fairly sure that NEO broke up, just as Far did back in the day. nothing gold can stay...but we can hold on to the memories, imprinted on plastic, translated through lazer, wires and more plastic, into our minds and hearts.

Frank has a new blog up and running...check it out at www.thereisnoblog.blogspot.com or just click on "Frank's Blog" up...there.

i've been dreaming vivid dreams recently...about absent, about the girls in my life, about my best friends, about my parents - about everything that's really important, it seems. about the things that i miss...

anyone seen any good flicks lately? i haven't been to see anything since "Not Another Teen Movie."

concert band performs tomorrow night, so i'm lookin' forward to that. University Auditorium is such a beautiful building, inside and out; it used to be a church. i wish that it still was...i've never been to a church like the ones in the movies...and University Auditorium is my ideal movie church. if you kids ever come visit, we'll go check it out.

For a good time, check out www.dumblaws.com

i'm definitely looking forward to having crystal visit this weekend - it'll be a great release from the monotony of...well, living here in the apartment alone, for the most part, since drew is often not here when i am. that's probably my fault, since i'm STILL missing too much school...but anyway. crystal is always a welcome guest. as is ANYONE ELSE that's reading this...

i was thinking that...if anyone was willing to have me try to use his/her poetry in writing music, that could be pretty awesome. i'm still writing my own...but i'd like to experience that of others. just an idea...but definitely let me know if you are interested. you'll receieve all credit, of course...along with whatever "favors" you'd like from me...

Will suggested i join a frat (place your laughter here so that we can continue. _______________________________ done? alrighty). i don't think it'd be a bad idea...might actually be one of the best possible things for me right now, to instill some discipline in this slacker. and i'd meet people...and i'd have a place to go, things to do...-i wouldn't sit on my ass here all the time, doing "nothing." or maybe i should just get a job. frat sounds more fun, but job means money...but how important is money? my food/gas/living expences are taken care of...so...?

Lauren: I hope things are better with your stomach...when do you go back for the "checkup?"

Melo: Did you get the links i've sent you?

Jacob: THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR HELP WITH THE SOON-TO-BE-RELEASED NEW-AND-IMPROVED ABSENT WEBSITE! You're the man...

Brian: Read about that girl visiting you with the "get well" card...that's freakin' awesome. you should never feel unloved again...

Frank: Keep up the trivia, homez. I'll letcha know when i get into town so we can hang out and bullshit like we used to.

Crystal: Thanks again for the cookies! Mmmmmm...

::: posted by AJBrotz at 1:26 PM

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Friday, February 15, 2002 :::

where is the intelligent happy music? i reached the conclusion that that's what i want to do...but...where is it? i don't want punk...i don't want "indie-rock" - my ideal band right now would be a more positive Finger Eleven with more electronic stuff goin' on...maybe a hybrid of Kenna, Jimmy Eat World, and Finger Eleven. that'd be very, very nice. maybe this is simply what i need to shoot for.

picked up Travis: "The Man Who" today (only 9.99)...i nearly fell asleep to it...nice stuff...but it's definitely music that has to accompany the appropriate mood. finally ordered "Thriller" from Jonah's New End Original, which is likely to be both happy and intelligent (rock)...and ordered "August Everywhere" from Blinker the Star for a surprisingly low price...like, 6 something. happy music on the way...

and i think i've realized what this feeling of lostness is. i'm leaving my comfort zone, by myself, in hopes of finding a more fulfilling lifestyle and more honest/positive expressive musical/lyrical outlet. I mean, i've been taking everything way too seriously for my entire life...and there has always been at least a tinge of depression in just about every day i've been alive...and i'm sick of it...but it's not the easiest thing to change the way you live your life overnight. any suggestions for sources of inspiration and comfort would be absolutely beautiful.

i've decided to pick up reading again; i've got Vonnegut, Palahniuk, Tolkien, and others to read...but i don't know that these authors will necessarily aid the new direction i'm wanting to walk in. again...suggestions would be glorious.

heard an interesting idea today. if you're ever feeling down or out of it, take a bath with vegetables. i'm literally laughing out loud just thinking about it...i really think it's a genius idea.

"I don't ever want to say that my best days are behind me"

::: posted by AJBrotz at 1:22 AM

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Thursday, February 14, 2002 :::

word from a reliable source on what happened/is to happen with Stabbing Westward (for those who care):

Heya,
The guys decided that they needed to move on from SW.
That is all the explaination given. They do plan on
working on other musical projects, but I do not know
what projects at this time (not sure if they even
know). As for the songs they were working on, they
will go with the person who wrote it (Chris or Andy)
for use in future projects. As soon as I find out
future projects, it will be posted on the site.

In my opinion I think they were frustrated with how SW
has gone over. Their first 3 albums did only OK, so
they changed styles. The latest album was somewhat of
a flop, but I think it is because of poor marketing by
KOCH. KOCH marketed it to hard rock stations, but the
album wasn't had rock for the most part. Especially
the second single 'Angel'. There was no way a hard
rock station would touch that love song, but that was
all it was marketed to. I think the self titled album
would have done well if marketed more broadly and to
altertaive/rock/top 40 stations. To be honest, I think
SW's older, harder material would do well in todays
market compared to when it was released. SW was ahead
of the game.

Out.
Lance

::: posted by AJBrotz at 10:38 PM

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Happy Valentines Day, you crazy lovebirds...

spent yesterday on the 'net, checkin' out new music. i was watching interviews with Finger Eleven, and they mentioned some of their favorite bands, so i check a few out. Travis is really nice...very pretty music. Maybe a bit too down-tempo for me at the moment, but we'll see. The other band that i looked up was Blinker the Star, and i'm really, really diggin' their stuff. it's happy...it's full...lots of strings (violins, etc)...overall, just GOOD. so...i wouldn't be surprised if i pick it up today at Best Buy, assuming they have it. so...that's my recommendation for the month. Blinker the Star.

I've grown very, very tired of depressing lyrics/music...the type that you feel like your drowning to when you listen. I'm making a conscious effort to stop writing my lyrics in that direction, cuz man...positivity is where it's at. positivity with intelligence. i've definitely got a ways to go with this, but...i'm excited :)

Pizza Hut screwed me over. I ordered a cheese stuffed-crust pizza at 11:40 PM yesterday, and it didn't get here 'till 1:15 AM today. how insane is that? but apparently, the driver got pulled over on the way; "There are POlice everywhere," he told me. so...i'm sorta alright with that. *just give me my pizza, and i won't diminish the tip.* i proceeded to place the pizza in the oven, cuz it was lukewarm...and after about 5 min, began to eat. after 2 slices, i realized that something was...amiss. i removed a little cheese and stuck my finger into what should have been the sauce...but the sauce didn't move. the sauce was not sauce. it was pepperoni. now...this isn't really a bad thing, cuz i don't mind pepporoni - i ate 2 slices without even noticing that it was beneath the cheese. but hey. i'm a poor college student. i payed good money for pizza...it took 1.5 hours to get to me...and it wasn't even what i wanted. so i called Pizza Hut, and i chilled on hold for 10 minutes before hanging up. so...this is unacceptable. the customer is always right (an asshole, maybe, according to Mallrats...but right regardless), and they screwed up my Valentines present to myself...so...compensation will commence. oh yes.

caught Ralph Nader on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart while i was on hold. what a cool, cool guy. he's got the idea. apparently, he's just released a book entitled "Crashing the Party,", which i intend to buy, and I recommend the same action to anyone else who is pro-Nader, or simply concerned with the future of America. interestingly enough, after the interview, i switched on MTV, and what video was on? that's right..."Toxicity," from System of a Down. this is not coincidence. we need a revolution, baby.

so drew is up in North Carolina, enjoying chocolate vaginas and the company of a few sexy, intelligent ladies...and i'm stuck here with good ol' Chris. don't get me wrong...chris is a good guy - when he comes in short doses. i can't take too much of my dropout roomie. i just...i dunno. i get bored, i guess. but i am glad that he's here; it's never a nice thing to be completely alone in this apartment. besides - he's funny...and he reminds me of what i might become if i don't get my act together. so chris: thank you for being a funny slob of a friend. i truly will miss you if you ever move out.

aight...i gotta get up at 8 today...so i should get some sleep. if it is in your power to spend "quality time" with someone special today, rock it. just have them call you Alan, if you know what i mean. goodnight...

::: posted by AJBrotz at 2:26 AM

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Tuesday, February 12, 2002 :::

picked up onesidezero's debut cd (great stuff....seriously), as well as "Singles" from Jimmy Eat World, which seems much more rockin' (not necessarily better...just more up-tempo thus far) than "Clarity." these cds, of course, do not make up for SW breaking up...but they do provide distraction.

what an interesting couple of days...today, drew and i received the same amount of money in the mail from relatives...Drew's car's battery was dead, and RABIA had to lend it some juice for it to get started...and there was other stuff, but i can't remember. horrid forgetfulness. concert band was actually enjoyable, since i got to rock it on the snare drum, just like the old days - only i think i'm better now than i was before. "it's always a wondeful thing to realize that you're still capable of surprising yourself..."

Absent's show at Mission Skate Park, originally scheduled for Friday, has been cancelled...and i'm not terribly distressed, cuz i hear that that place is a shithole - to the point that i would have had to bring my own P.A. but...i was looking forward to going home again...and i need nice pants/nice shirt for the upcoming Concert Band concert (confusing, eh?). and i miss my friends...especially those that have recently come out of the "shadows" and into the forefront, so to speak.

For Valentine's Day, can someone give me a good dose of discipline?

I'M GOING TO SLEEP.

::: posted by AJBrotz at 1:07 AM

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Monday, February 11, 2002 :::

drama without remorse.

first, the knowledge that one of my favorite bands of all time has broken up. next, touchy online conversation involving two extremely important people in my life. lastly, the reading of words on a piece of paper.

words on a piece of paper.

jesus...the sword is absolutely no match for the pen.

and i don't know where to go with any of this.

::: posted by AJBrotz at 12:24 AM

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Friday, February 08, 2002 :::

SALADFISHMAN has a new post. not sure about how much he likes this one...but...

::: posted by AJBrotz at 7:39 PM

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Tuesday, February 05, 2002 :::

BEST ALBUMS OF 2001*

10. Incubus: Morning View
9. Hoobastank
8. Stabbing Westward
7. From Zero: One Nation Under
6. Tool: Lateralus
5. Bjork: Vespertine
5. Sevendust: Animosity
4. Pink Floyd: Echoes
3. 311: From Chaos
3. Further Seems Forever: The Moon is Down
2. Sigur Ros: Agaetis Byrjun
1. System of a Down: Toxicity
1. Jimmy Eat World: Bleed American

Honorable Mentions
Machine Head: Supercharger
POD: Satellite
Michael Jackson: Invincible
N'SYNC: Celebrity

*Ratings based on cds that I actually purchased. Other cds, such as Radiohead: Amnesiac, might have been on the list had I properly evaluted them.

::: posted by AJBrotz at 8:09 PM

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This time, it's on my own.

::: posted by AJBrotz at 1:19 AM

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Monday, February 04, 2002 :::

...and suddenly, the sun is my best friend.

::: posted by AJBrotz at 5:38 PM

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everyone go rent Bubble Boy! Awesome movie!

and of course...if you haven't seen Moulin Rouge yet...well, you're pretty dumb. GO RENT/BUY IT!

Absent played a decent show friday night...but i definitely had more fun before the show, when we got lost in downtown Orlando. that was freakin' great. and Dan's Midnight Pizza is pretty damn good. anyway...everyone played exceptionally well...except for myself. i just wasn't feeling it...at all...and for the first time ever, didn't really care about how well i performed. my voice was off...my playing was off...i just had like, zero enthusiasm. except for "And So it Goes..." that is without a doubt my favorite song that we've ever written, and i don't think i could ever play it without getting psyched in the process. so...why have i not been enjoying absent lately?

i haven't been enjoying much of anything lately...and this entry will probably come off as just another one of those run-of-the-mill depressed-person entries or whatever...but...this IS my blog...so...oh well. i've just been feeling totally lost lately...and i haven't been able to switch myself out of that mindset - which is really strange for me, because it's usually no problem. usually i can just think of a funny memory, and i'll be back to normal, just like that...or i'll just be like, "hey, enough of this blah mood...get happy!" or whatever. but...that hasn't been working. i'm not sure whether to attribute it to poor eating habits, or lack of exercise...because these are constants; i've always had these problems, and it's never been a real issue with my attitude before. maybe it has all caught up with me. i dunno. of course, my missing tons of school is a factor...but i'm not sure whether it's a result, or a cause of this attitude problem. bah...this is so retarded. for the millionth time, i'm stating that i'm switching it up; i'm not going to miss anymore school...i'm going to get back on track...i'm going to find motivation...and i'm going to regain the respect of my friends. and this time it's going to stick. somehow. i hope.

brock, brian, juan and I made 60 bux each playing oldies to old people at New Smyrna saturday night...'twas hellafun playin' songs like "Johnny Be Good," "Wipeout," "Wild Thing," "Gloria," "Joy to the World (Jeremiah was a Bullfrog)," etc. and it's always wonderful for me to jam out with my dad. great, great times...his birthday was yesterday, actually. pretty crazy...i hate the fact that he's getting older. when you're young and under your parent's 24 hour supervision, you feel like they'll be there forever...but once you're out, you realize how temporary everything is...

Brock's condo is mad awesome. reminded me of the Island...

the new Dream Theater cds kick ass...the 2nd one, consisting of one 40-something minute long song, is my personal favorite. Juan has really gotten into them, so that's awesome.

Juan. what a wonderful person Juan is. i love that kid...

do you ever think about which individual friends you wouldn't be able to imagine living without? it's an eye-opener, and you kinda' feel bad, because you realize that some "friends" are...or will be...expendable, for lack of a better word. and that is only because certain people REALLY stand out as friends that you would hate to lose...to live away from. understand what i'm saying? like...there's a handful of friends that i absolutely treasure...but even then, there are only a few in that handful that i truly cannot imagine being excluded from my life. i'm pretty sure that these people know who they are...and to them, i say...GOD, i love you. thank you soooo much for walking into my life...or for engaging in conversation with me after i said "hi," etc. And i'm not really sure why i'm writing about this right now...but...i guess i'll throw in a little request: if you've thought about this question of which people are pretty much vital to your enjoyed existence, and have "narrowed it down," let those people know just how important they are.

time to read for SCHOOL...cuz that's what i'm here for...SCHOOL. SCHOOL is where i'm going tomorrow...what i'm waking up for. no more missing SCHOOL.

i need to be honest with myself, for myself

::: posted by AJBrotz at 3:26 AM

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