Saturday, June 29, 2002 :::

I'm exceptionally artistic!

Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.

::: posted by AJBrotz at 10:34 PM

(0) comments

Incubus rocked my socks off. Being crushed against the railing was shitty, but it was rad being so close to the band. Phantom Planet was all-out rock and roll...very cool, very energetic. This was definitely the best show i've been to in...i can't remember how long. The Juliana Theory show was an absolute joke in comparison.

so, most everyone knows about my all-out honesty with my parents, and the whole end-to-drinking thing...and maybe a few of my "friends" have been somewhat supportive, or even merely understanding - and to those people (drew and melo, primarily), i extend unconditional love and gratitude. but overall, this just sucks. i mean, it's good on one end, because it's easier to see where certain people place their priorities and how much they value their friendships...well, okay, honestly, it all just sucks right now. i just can't understand the mentality that exists when someone decides that they don't want to hang with you because you've decided to stop drinking and start being completely honest - with yourself, and everyone else. actually, maybe i can understand it, but i could never relate to it...and i really think it's pathetic. someone "close" to me even said that he doesn't think he'll be visiting Gainesville anymore, now that it's "dry." all i can say in response is FUCK THAT, and FUCK YOU. that's seriously fucked up, and it hurts. with that known, to tell u the truth, i really don't want you coming to Gainesville ever again, anyway. dammit...what the shit is that? how can getting drunk really be so important and enjoyable to the point where it actually takes precidence over relationships? i want to move away...and not just 2 hours away. i want to move out of the country...i want to sever all connections with everyone that i know...i want to start over, clean slate. i really just want freedom, from being made fun of, from thoughtlessness, from any and all restrictions, other than those that i place on myself. i want to be in complete control...and somehow, i don't think that's possible. and THAT, Alan, is a depressing thought.

my acoustic and i have gotten very close lately. it's wonderful...i absolutely lulululove it.

The Used: high quality cd, great lyrics/emotion. BUY.
Norah Jones - Come Away with Me: relaxing, but...not as good as i was hoping it would be. kinda contrived. LISTEN.
Reel Big Fish - Cheer Up: very high quality music...big talent. gotta be in the mood, though. BUY.
Avril Lavigne - Let Go: not bad at all. lacking intelligence, but...i dunno, i like her. good voice, decent music. LISTEN.
Vanessa Carlton - Be Not Nobody: GREAT band, but Vanessa can get quite annoying. very dramatic music. LISTEN.
Finch - What it is to Burn: energetic, driving heavy music with great hooks. BUY.
New Found Glory - Sticks and Stones: disappointing, but there are a few rockin' songs. HEAR.
Phantom Planet - The Guest: interesting stuff...refreshing. some tracks are very Beatles-esque, which is great, but the others range from decent to blah. LISTEN.

Shits and giggles: Orange County. Evolution.
Worth buying: Vanilla Sky. Grosse Point Blank. Moulin Rouge.
Date flick: Serendipity.

Date restaurant: Peppinos (!!!)

The second island trip is fast approaching. I'm very, very excited, but i'm afraid that i may eventually wind up biting some people's heads off. we'll see, but one thing is for sure: i've been away from the ocean for far too freakin' long. it's bizarre how strongly i'm attracted to water - of any sort, really. i guess it's a natural, animalistic thing...a desire for the beginning, the source of creation. whatever...-i just want to sink to the bottom of a pool or something, and just sit for a while, since it's really difficult for me to lay down with my bouyancy, or however you spell it. water water water. i'm thirsty. H20.

-fish out of water.

::: posted by AJBrotz at 1:59 AM

(0) comments

Sunday, June 23, 2002 :::

Which monkey are you?

::: posted by AJBrotz at 11:23 PM

(0) comments

Wednesday, June 19, 2002 :::

bored outta my head, so might as well blog.

cleaned out my closet with the 'rents last week...-definitely a wise decision with positive outcome. i basically un-lied everything i've lied to them about - all the big lies that i remember, anyway. lying to my parents has gotten very, very old - my conscience is very exhausted, and my stomach is sick and tired of being sick and tired. soooo, no more drinking (at all) for 2 whole years...unless the circumstances would allow for me to be confident in receiving approval from my parents. it's totally not worth the risks involved, anyway...and i've witnessed first-hand the physical, emotional, psychological and legal consequences that often follow: frightening/pathetic/imbecilic/that's enough for me. think what you will, think what you may - my mind is made, the stance is solid.

let's bitch a little. this being-skinny-business has got to go. i'm stockin' up on Carnation Instant Breakfasts, other milkshakes, chocolate milk, and other stuff to get me fat. ANY AND ALL SUGGESTIONS FOR FATTENING FOODS ARE MORE THAN WELCOME. i may resort to something like Weight Gainer 2000...-we'll have to see how the shakes and instant breakfasts go. exercise is also a must...gotta start running regularly. lifting 20 lb dumbbells thrice a day isn't going to cut it.

songs of the summer thus far:
"Your Signs" by Nonpoint
"Sway" by Vanessa Carlton
"Letters to You" by Finch
and others that i can't quite remember at this moment.

19th birthday came and went - for the first time, i'm actually kinda' not for the getting-older-thing. 20 seems old. juan and will are 20...but...i never thought about it before my b-day. no more teens. childhood - kaput...kinda sorta. i dunno, it's all psychological, but this past one was the first birthday that made me stop and think for a second. is it truly possible to remain young-at-heart without forcing it at least a little bit? here's to staying young-at-heart *raises glass of water to screen*

coming soon...a review of what might have been the worst concert i've ever witnessed: Piebald, Glassjaw, and The Juliana Theory.

-aj

::: posted by AJBrotz at 11:48 PM

(0) comments

Sunday, June 16, 2002 :::

Find your emotion!

::: posted by AJBrotz at 10:12 PM

(0) comments

Thursday, June 06, 2002 :::

so...what's been goin' on for the past month. lots of working for my parents...much time spent at movie theaters...and, of course,
"Pizza in the mornin', pizza in the evenin', pizza at supper time!"

cinemania: Star Wars: Episode 2 was pretty freakin' awesome - on the DIGITAL PROJECTOR, of course. Spiderman was pretty tight...but NOT, i repeat, NOT as good as X-Men. Insomnia was very very good - Christopher Nolan has done it again, with the help of superb performances from Pacino, Willams, and Swank. The Sum of All Fears definitely surpassed my expectations - "Affleck was the BOMB in Phantoms," and I've yet to see a poor film that stars Morgan Freeman. Undercover Brother was incredibly stupid...but freakin' hilarious, nonetheless. Meghan and Steph walked out of the theater after 15 minutes of it...but i assure you, it is worth seeing. maybe not worth paying for...but worth seeing. Ocean's Eleven was decent...nothing to scream about, or even talk about, really. Harry Potter is entertaining...the Godfather was freakin' amazingwonderfulawesome...and The Ammityville Horror (sp?) was damn freaky. I highly recommend it if you're looking for a movie that's actually kinda' scary, since most "horror" movies fail miserably. GO was probably one of the best movies i've seen in quite a while...very well done. GO SEE IT if you haven't already. trust me...and if you can't trust me for some reason, trust in the beauty of Katie Holmes. there's an attractive guy in the film, too...but i dunno his name. tear.

work has been great, considering the small amount of work that i actually do. sometimes it's fairly intense, but most of the time, it's more of watching my dad and learning than actual labor. earning money is freakin' awesome...-and it's making me realize how much of my parents' money i've been spending while away at college. i really need to cut back. and...that's about it. oh...one cool thing coming up next week is that i'll be going out to work on Justin Timberlake's pool next week. "solid."

Absent is getting back into shape...we've played one show since i've been back, and we have another coming up at the Social (Sapphire Supper Club). i had better see EVERYONE I KNOW at that one. details should be available soon. we're still working on a new demo, courtesy of Will's friend Andrew, but i think that the best way for us to go would be to save up and pay to go back to the studio. i dunno...personally, i don't think we're quite ready for that, but...whatever. rock and roll, man.

this summer has been quite different from past summers...-primarily because practically all of my friends have romantic interests/involvements while i am completely without. it's crazy how lonely you feel when you're in a room, surrounded by couples, and all you have is a pillow to hold onto. i don't mean to bitch about it...but it's a new level of loneliness that i've never really experienced before, so it's worth writing about for a brief while. I long for a relationship...but at the same time, i know firsthand the consequences of romantic involvement for the solitary sake of having someone there when you need/want the comfort/touch/correspondance/COMPANY. all of that is extremely important and desirable, of course, but when it's grounded in nothing but greed and want, after a short while, everything turns to shit. so...i'm fighting off the urges, hoping for something new (or something old that will somehow appear newly attractive to me) to cross my path - something substantial. true potential has to be there before i dare make things kinetic.

as for Lauren, it's probably as obvious to everyone else as it is to her and me that nothing is going to come of it all. despite how hard i've fought against it, the truth is that we just don't click in that romantic, soul-sharing way...and i know that neither of us wants to settle for anything less than that specialness.

bought 2 books recently: Bram Stoker's Dracula and Mary Shelly's Frankenstein. I've been told several times before that i should read these classics, so i've made it a summer goal.

9 days until i turn 19. the most interesting thing about it all is the apparent decline in my birthday's importance. i guess it's one of those things that comes with age...but that just sucks, man. i remember being so freakin' excited about my birthday each year...and it's sad that the stereotypical growing-up-ness is taking place here. i'm trying to hold it at bay, but...something tells me that the battle is going to end in futility.

well...sorry if i bored anyone, but it'd been quite a while since i'd written anything in this thing. comments are welcome, as always. if anyone wants to get together and do something (anything), call me up on my cell.

Anne: i WILL call you soon. start thinking of things to do...
Island Crew 2002: $50 down payments are due, and the full balance is due by June 15th. Call me...
Drew: I miss living with you! We'll be roomies again in no time, though!
Komo: I fucking hate you, you heartless chimp! ROT IN HELL!

-aj

::: posted by AJBrotz at 11:35 PM

(0) comments